Spending my day doing my assignment... Definitely not in a good mood after last night's incident. I don't see what I did wrong when I had only asked a random question in order to strike a conversation and what do I get in return? As much as I was pissed, I just didn't want things to get worse so I ended it there. Nowadays talking to you is like talking to the wall! Looked through our whatsapp convo and what do I see? We used to talk everyday but now we go for a few days without talking. We probably shared the same amount of taking part in the conversation and now, I see plenty of attempts from me, and nothing much from you. Need I say more? Yes I get it you have things to do. So do I but am I also not trying to do my best here? I try and try so hard. I don't know what went wrong and where it went wrong. It's not the same anymore and seeing how things have been, I don't see it getting any better. I tried to strike a conversation and you say I've planned to have an argument?! Goes to show what you think of me. Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I'm not. But too much emotions and feelings about this has been piling up over me and I guess I had enough. I'm done waiting, trying, talking and even thinking. I only have myself to blame after all this. For being so stupid, for thinking I found a friend in you when obviously there is nothing between us.
It's probably why now I've had enough of making friends. Even in school, I don't feel like talking and getting to know other people. I'm pretty much isolated but then is there is Monalisa whom I got to know even before class started, so I'm always with her. Other than that, I do talk when people talk, but I don't make any sort of conversations with others unless completely necessary... So yeah, circumstances and situations have changed me from a fun, sociable, chirpy, cheerful person to a boring, anti-social, not chirpy and not so cheerful person. I don't find myself being happy that much and when I even got to hung out with Salina last week, I missed being the way I was with her... I was meeting her after like almost 5 months. Met her after I came back from India to pass her the gifts and ever since then, didn't get to meet her or the clique. The guys have been busy with NS and yeah, so much has changed now. Wish I can go back to school with the awesome people who brought so much of happiness and color to my life. Nothing can replace those moment and the people.
After coming out to the real world, so much has surfaced and I know I can't hide or run away from reality any longer. Whenever I'm feel down and alone, I guess I can only look up to my one source of comfort who holds me and without him, I don't know what would have happened to me.
I really can't wait for this year to end and then start afresh moving forward. Have so much of bitterness build up inside of me and I have to let them go before the year comes to an end.
Yes, alot of bad stuff is happening, but then there are good things too. on 21st December, I'm going to finally get my virgin hair dyed! Weee~~ For 20 years of my life, I had not done anything to my hair and that is going to change on Friday! I'm going to get my hair dyed, ash brown and also get a new hair style with a side fringe maybe. Never been so excited. Also very nervous as to how it will turn out but yes, excited as hell!
Can't wait for Christmas! Wearing the very pretty saree which cost a bomb! And I could not find any accessories to go along with it because of the unique color and so agreed to wearing the gold jewellery. Ha! And then right after all the celebration, will have to mug mug and mug for exam which is on the 5th January. In fact, right after Thursday, the day my assignment is due, I'll start preparing. Someone wise once told me that I have to start doing things earlier and not rush in the end. So yeah, I'll start this week itself.
Work has been alright although I've been getting very sick alot :P Next year it will be better because of change of shift for my. I don't have to work so much I guess. I hope they're able to confirm it soon. My colleagues and I went for a buffet on Sunday and ate to our heart's content. There was just soooo much food! I was soooo full. Of course I had to make full use of the $50 I had paid for it. No more eating out for the next few months. LOL.
I shall end here...
It's probably why now I've had enough of making friends. Even in school, I don't feel like talking and getting to know other people. I'm pretty much isolated but then is there is Monalisa whom I got to know even before class started, so I'm always with her. Other than that, I do talk when people talk, but I don't make any sort of conversations with others unless completely necessary... So yeah, circumstances and situations have changed me from a fun, sociable, chirpy, cheerful person to a boring, anti-social, not chirpy and not so cheerful person. I don't find myself being happy that much and when I even got to hung out with Salina last week, I missed being the way I was with her... I was meeting her after like almost 5 months. Met her after I came back from India to pass her the gifts and ever since then, didn't get to meet her or the clique. The guys have been busy with NS and yeah, so much has changed now. Wish I can go back to school with the awesome people who brought so much of happiness and color to my life. Nothing can replace those moment and the people.After coming out to the real world, so much has surfaced and I know I can't hide or run away from reality any longer. Whenever I'm feel down and alone, I guess I can only look up to my one source of comfort who holds me and without him, I don't know what would have happened to me.
I really can't wait for this year to end and then start afresh moving forward. Have so much of bitterness build up inside of me and I have to let them go before the year comes to an end.
Yes, alot of bad stuff is happening, but then there are good things too. on 21st December, I'm going to finally get my virgin hair dyed! Weee~~ For 20 years of my life, I had not done anything to my hair and that is going to change on Friday! I'm going to get my hair dyed, ash brown and also get a new hair style with a side fringe maybe. Never been so excited. Also very nervous as to how it will turn out but yes, excited as hell!
Can't wait for Christmas! Wearing the very pretty saree which cost a bomb! And I could not find any accessories to go along with it because of the unique color and so agreed to wearing the gold jewellery. Ha! And then right after all the celebration, will have to mug mug and mug for exam which is on the 5th January. In fact, right after Thursday, the day my assignment is due, I'll start preparing. Someone wise once told me that I have to start doing things earlier and not rush in the end. So yeah, I'll start this week itself.
Work has been alright although I've been getting very sick alot :P Next year it will be better because of change of shift for my. I don't have to work so much I guess. I hope they're able to confirm it soon. My colleagues and I went for a buffet on Sunday and ate to our heart's content. There was just soooo much food! I was soooo full. Of course I had to make full use of the $50 I had paid for it. No more eating out for the next few months. LOL.
I shall end here...
A relationship isn't about one person putting in their all into that one relationship.
It's about two people putting in their all no matter what happens.
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