1.08pm

I have to admit. I've been on an emotional roller coaster ride as of late. I don't know why but I guess this is what was being planned for me. I wish God was being a little bit lenient on me but probably this is his way of being easy on me. I don't know if I should be happy or sad, to laugh or to cry about this... 

It's my off day today. I went to the bank, deposited some money then to the post office to send Kelli's and Erica's long overdue letters. I finished writing them ages ago but only sent it out today. I had to print a few pictures one of which is a mini project for Melody. She wanted me to bring back Shah Rukh Khan from my trip to India. I was planning to get some movie DVDs for her but I obviously forgot. So when I came back, i decided to do a picture collage of some sort for her with SRKs pictures and stuff but when I had gone supplies shopping, I found a DIY keychain which I could put in pictures. So decided that I will print a picture or 2 and put them into the keychain. I hope everything goes according to plan.

Now I'm on my way to Little India, to run errands for mum. Then supplies shopping to get boxes for a few pen pals. When I get home, I've to clean up my make up box because it's a mess. Then iron a few clothes and finally work on my project for Melody, Florent and Joshua. So much to do huh...

I'm feeling so sleepy... Last night was not the best night. Ha. Couldn't sleep much and when I finally did, it wasn't much like sleeping. I kept dwelling on last night's conversation and I felt something was just so wrong. I don't know if it was because of me but why do I have to make other people's life so miserable. I don't think Joshua deserved any of it that he had to go through. And I don't think I should have been in the dark about the whole spacing out. I can't help thinking if this was a test because what did he want the outcome to be? Maybe like he said, I was just escalating the situation and I should just chill out. Easier said than done yeah...

I remembered the other time when Jasmine had to describe my character during a training session. She said I was someone who was very dedicated or committed or something along that line. Because she said I tend to put everything of me into something and when something goes wrong I get upset or break down. When she was saying that, I felt like, yeah right. Because I didn't exactly agree with her. But maybe there is some sort of truth to that. Or maybe in just sensitive. Very very sensitive...

I probably have been over dependent on certain things and/or people and this is probably God's way of waking me up to reality. I know God means well but... Aiyo. I should seriously drop this right. I'm just thinking too much. Making all this complicated and I have put myself in this awkward situation. Pft.

2.28pm

I finally finished mum's errands and got on the bus. The weather is so horrible as of late. Its way too hot. I just want I scream. Lol. The air conditioning in the bus is the only thing that is keeping calm and cool now. I'm feeling sleepy so I think I'm going to nap now...

8.11pm

I didn't take a nap in the on the bus just now. Of course I couldn't sleep. Ended up playing a cool crocodile game on my iPad called where's my water or something. It was fun. Went to Daiso and got some stuff, spent like $18... Brought myself chicken rice and then headed back home. Had a terrible headache, got really annoyed. I hated being this way. Took a tablet and went to bed.

Now I'm up, going to have pasta and hotdogs for dinner while I watch Mentalist. I'm going to put all this behind me and pretend like everything is normal although its not! I don't think its ever going to be okay. GAH! I'm hungry, I'm going to go and eat now! Back to work tomorrow for the next 5 days! I've got to focus on the present things :/ Bye for now!