6.27pm
Having dinner with my tamil class clique from back in secondary school. Waiting for them now. I would have reached really early but I forgot my camera's memory card at home so I had to go back to take it. Been raining for a while already. I hate it when it rains just when I have plans for the day. It kinda ruins everything :(

Sometimes I tend to delete contacts from my handphone when I know that I won't need them anymore. Such a contact is Nilesh's. It had been really tough on me, but I never showd him that. He usually acts as if he's been having a hard time with all of that. I thought things will be normal with us, but he just makes a big deal out of it. And then today, he messaged me in whatsapp. Clearly he hasn't deleted my number, but I had. And when he messaged me, I had no idea who he was, but I knew the number was from India. He went on and on, and since I was leaving for dinner, I got to tell him I couldn't chat with him anymore as I would have no wifi. I'd have to speak to him again tonight though :( He keeps apologizing for behaving like a bastard to me. Time and time again, I keep telling him its okay, but he keeps beating himself about it. Poor fella.

11.40pm

Dinner with them was really good! Glad we could make it. Mithran couldn't come though, but we planned for another meet up this weekend. Probably bowling at Naresh's work place. They're all an awesome bunch really.

So anyway, was supposed to go and clean church this Saturday, but since I've got 2 different plans, I decided to get it done tomorrow, and dad says he wants to come along tomorrow! Shocking much? So glad that dad is being so awesome now. Haha! So then mum forced me to sit and talk to dad just now about my future plans. I wanted to know his opinion if I should got to NIE (Training school for teachers). And before I mentioned my other option, he asked me, what about university? I said I could do that too, maybe take up psychology. And he was saying that its up to me, to do what was easy for me. He said what I'm doing now is pretty tough. Haha! And I admitted to him that I wasn't interested in it, and I want to do psychology. Mum told me to pray about it.

Let me admit, I've been very far from God then ever. Yes I go to church, I attend prayer meeting, even lead worship, and pray with others, get involved in all ministries, but then, its not the same as always spending time with God. All of a sudden, I don't know how I should do it anymore. I know that I'm where I am today because of him and I cannot move anywhere else without him. His grace has always been holding me up and yet, I'm still this far away from him :( Hearing so many people doing really good holding up with God makes me feel so guilty. Oh God. I better do some talking to you know who before its too late! Good night everyone!

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