8.22am
At work as usual. About 3 weeks to go before I end officially. I like my job I guess, but at times it is a little overwhelming. Its very important to make sure the people are happy and satisfied in the end. But that is not always the case sadly. I just want to make sure that I am able to give my best for the remaining days and not get into any serious trouble...

Its tough... Last night ended so dramatically :O Initially the plan was just to go by the station, drop his medications off, make some enquiries and leave. But mum surprised me... I know she wanted to enquire about the bail and everything, but I didn't expect her to actually go along with this... So we found that if we bailed him out that night, the next day, which is today, he has his court hearing. So he would have to report for it. If the hearing has been pushed later, and his sentance is delayed, he'll come back home again cause he is still on bail -.-' and if he doesn't turn up for his hearing, mum has to pay a fine of $5000 :O Oh, but I saw him getting ready this morning. He should be on the way. His hearing is in 30mins...

So maybe last night I was very upset. I didn't question mum on her decision because if she felt it was the right thing to do, its alright. Besides, mum does not do things without thinking them through. On our way home, in the front seat of the cab, I held on to my tears wondering what we ever did to deserve all this. All we ever wanted was a normall life. All I wanted was that despite everything, my father would change and he'll be better...

I can't blame him completely. But he had a choice. A choice not to drink. He knows what would happen if he gets drunk. He has faced it many times... Time and time again, once he makes a mistake, he says sorry! Sorry sorry sorry! But if he meant it, he would make sure it doesn't happen again right?

I know I should not totally ignore him. But I don't know if he is indeed remorseful. As a daughter, I don't know what to do... That night, dad said something about me after I called the police. Something I didn't hear, but mum did. And when she told me, I felt so hurt. How could he say that about me? Does he even know anything about me? He doesn't even know what i'm studying, what I want to do when I grow up. He just asks mum about these things and yet he makes such a comment on me?

Mum made it clear to him... Because I made it clear to her that whatever she wants to do regarding my father, its up to her. I don't want to have any say in this. So she told him that he's hurt me enough and I don't want to involve in any future decisions regarding him... Yes, I loved him so much... Maybe I still do. I meant everything I wrote in the letter that time when he was in prison. That we would stand by him and support him through this but I didn't expect this to happen... I should have guessed, and I might have known, but yet, I pushed it aside, choosing to only believe my father, choosing to believe that he has changed...

8.54am
I am really bored now... No calls yet. I'm pretty excited for this evening's healing rally. Mum won't be coming today. I've managed to get approval to leave 30mins early today. So after getting changed, would have to head to Ps.Sengu's church. Never been there before. Hopefully can find my way. Mist importantly, I hope my clothes for later which I've folded carefully don't have any creases. I hate creases. Also, I haven't worn it in a whole, still hope I can fit into it xD Looking forward to today evening really... Heard that Ps Charles Abraham is used by God to do powerful miracles. He has healed people who can't walk, can't see, those with sickness, etc. Hope he can heal those broken hearted too eh.

Might probably skip lunch... Maybe get some sleep in the R&R room, or the pantry. Lunch roster now out yet. Need wait atleast 2hours more. Please place me with my favourite people.

12.19pm
Just came back from lunch. Was good. Had fish, egg and veg tofu. Was filling. Also got a chocolate and 2 sweets. Spent quite a lot today xD I didn't skip lunch after all xD

What I feared has happened. His case has been pushed to 30th Sept. So now he'll be going back home. Gahhh! Then again, I've nothing to say about whatever is happening because I've told myself I'm going to let whatever has to happen, happen and I'm not going to say anything...

About 4hr 30mins to go before I get off work at 5pm... Shall finish reading one more novel by today hopefully... I've read Lurlene McDaniel's Saving Jessica novel. Its about this girl Jessica, and her bf Jeremy. Jess is 18, Jeremy is 16. And they're both in love xD so Jess gets very sick and she has to go on dialysis for her kidney and she can't stop until she finds a donor. Her parents aren't able to match hers. And Jeremy is underage, even if he wants to get tests done to see if he's a match, he needs parent's consent. Apparently, his dad, a lawyer says no to the kidney donation as Jeremy is actually the right fit for Jessica. But he mainly disagrees cause Jeremy's brother Tom passed away in an accident and they didn't want to lose him. So Jeremy gets some lawyers and files a case against his dad so that Jeremy can make his own decision. They lose the first case, but Jeremy decides to push it further to the supreme court. Before the case goes there, his dad meets him. Oh at this point Jeremy is living in with one of the lawyer as he doesn't want to stay with his parents. And his dad eventually agrees for this to go on. Kidney transfusion goes well for Jessica and Jeremy. Cut the summary short. Though it was just about 200 pages, there were many details embedded like how Jess declines Jeremy's kidney because she's afraid time may change, etc. But Jeremy was sure he wants to do it. Everything ends well with Jeremy even deciding to pursue law in future has he has a flair in it like his father.

I'm on the next novel, Telling Christina Goodbye. And as of now, I've 4 hours away and I'm out of here for the weekend.

4:00pm
1 hour before I get off work. I'm done with the 2nd novel too. Telling Christina Goodbye. Indeed a very sad story that I found myself tearing up. Especially at one point when they had a portion about one of their fathers... Awww. I should stop thinking about my dad. If its meant to be, it is. I should stop being negative.

Bestie is leaving for philippines tomorrow. Going to miss her alot... Hais. Wish she could stay longer. And anyway, I've come to terms and accepted her bf xD I have to na?! He's actually nice. But I judged him cause he is very controlling in bestie's case to the extend he doesn't like her mingling with other guys, and she got rid of all social network profiles like fb, etc. Who does that?! But I'm over it. Bestie has skype and gchat, so we'll be so close, but yet so far.

5.26pm
In the train, on the way to the church. Don't know who might be reaching around the same time as me. I might be the earliest. Should call Ps Maniam when I get there...

I feel that I'm making a mistake by pushing my own father away from me this far. I don't know... But it will take a while for me. Sometimes I know I should not have such high expectations because they would crush me. And although I know and I've experience it, I still keep making then same mistakes. So what should I do? I need time to adjust around this whole thing. Might take time but will I eventually accept dad? Only time can tell. Until then, I'll just wait for God's plan to unfold.

Just 1 hr 30mins to go! I wonder how many sick people will eventually turn up. I really hope that I'll be able to see with my eyes they getting healed. I've only heard of things happening and read them in the bible. Never seen them for myself. And i'm going to see miracles and wonders today :)

That aside, I'm making a mental list of the things I need to get when I get my pay next month :) I need a nice necklace with cross pendant. Gahhh! When there were really nice ones around, I didn't habe the money, and now when i've got money, no nice necklaces. How now brown cow?

11.39pm

GOD HEARED ME! Was begging God to minister to me in anyway, and he heard me. How more joyful can I be?

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