Been evaluating myself today... Just a while ago. And I realize how much of a horrible person I have been... So very horrible... It just happened so fast. And I can admit truthfully, that I have done many things that I regret... Immediately after finishing this post, I'm going to apologize to 4 very important people.

I thought I'd never come to this... Thought I'd never regret anything I have done before, but I was so wrong. I've been selfish... So selfish. Selfish enough that I only consider what someone did to me, and I didn't even think of the hurt I've caused to them... So what if he acted that way? He had every right to because of what I said to him. If I hadn't said anything to begin with, he wouldn't have said anything to me either or acted that way... And why did I have to behave that way with the other 2 when they had nothing to do with this? I don't have a valid reason, yes, I just messed up. I mess up everything, every time... But this time, I'm going to make things right! I'm going to apologize and no matter how stupid I'm going to seem, its okay because I am sincere and serious about this...

What he felt to me, was normal... If everyone reacted this way to someone like him, then I guess there won't be love in this world at all... I was stupid, and I did bad stuff. And all 4 of them, deserve and apology...

I'll get started on it now....

I did it. Started with Vaishu, then Peeks, and JK, and finally P... Somehow, the message to him seemed longer. Haha. I'm not exactly expecting a reply from them at the moment... Or probably, never, but I had to do it to feel better on my part and to resolve anything that had me involved... I started with these 4 first because they were the ones who came to mind the first. I hope there aren't many more. Hahaha!

Got a quick short reply from Vaishu... Not sure how she's taking it :( I feel so much guilty as ever... But I guess she's a little alright.

Oh crap, I already brushed my teeth, and I'm eating now :( Every since dad got back, he's been stuffing me with food! He just does new stuff and asks me to eat. But today, mum brought home some delicious chicken... When she offered it, I said no, but when my dad came in, despite me saying now, he forced it on me... I didn't want to see his temper, so I took it. And while eating, I remembered brushing my teeth a while back :( Looks like I need to brush it again! Stupid tasty chicken!

Anyway, I need to update tons! Like how I actually got the CPF job :) A first government job on my resume! Weeehooo! LOL! I'll be at woodlands CPF's call center xD I'm hoping things won't be tough :) Training sessions were on Thursday & Friday, was pretty good I guess. We get paid for just sitting down and listening to everything about CPF. Apparently, I can't say much about it because we've so called been sworn to secrecy xD

I enjoyed myself today... Watched 3 movies... Started with Singham, Ajay Devgan! Was the remake of the tamil Singam with Surya. Ajay Devgan wins la! He's sooo hot xD And the plot was quite different with the hindi version and it was really good :) I loved it! Kajol is a lucky woman to have married him. Hehehe! I kinda loved the romantic scenes in the movie... I've got no words to explain...

As everyone knows, I'm a hopeless romantic... I found a whole bunch on what it means, and you can read it if you want to, but I didn't read the whole thing though because I guess its true anyway :D

"Hopeless romantics believe in love and fairy tales. They dream of roses and candlelight, walking on the beach at sunset, and dancing in the rain. They know that somewhere out there is a knight in shining armour ready to carry them off, or a beautiful princess waiting to be carried off into the sunset. Hopeless romantics believe in true love, and the eternal bliss that comes from being united with one's soulmate is what they crave most.

Hopeless romantics recognize in themselves the ability to love infinitely deeply, and they ache to be loved with the same fervor in return. When a hopeless romantic has someone to lavish their affection on, lavish they do. Hopeless romantics sometimes write love letters full of poetic phrases and send flowers, but mostly they try to find a thousand thoughtful little ways to show their love. They make romance into an art form.

Hopeless romantics wear rose-colored glasses. In their eagerness to find "the one," a hopeless romantic may either be extraordinarily picky or not discerning enough. Hopeless non-romantics think that hopeless romantics are delusional and too intense. Other than the seeming futility in the search for a soulmate, nothing frustrates a hopeless romantic more than a significant other who does not understand the hopeless romantic temperament.

Sometimes, in this cynical world, it seems like the population of hopeless romantics is declining. One has only to look at the number of movies and songs about love that are currently popular to prove otherwise. It may also seem that there are many more hopelessly romantic women than romantic men. This isn't surprising in a culture where a man might get snapped at for opening the door for a woman. Men and women often have different ways of expressing their emotions, and the number of hopelessly romantic men is probably much higher than anyone could tell simply by observation.

Hopeless romantics are the idealists, the sentimental dreamers, the imaginative, and the fanciful. They give the world its once-upon-a-times and happily-ever-afters. Hopeless romantics may have their feet on the ground, but their souls fly somewhere over the rainbow."

Then I watched a telugu movie. It wasn't so awesome, but it was alright. And I topped off with Dil Bole Haddipa. Shahid Kapoor was amazing, and Rani was beyond awesome! Tons of laughters, tears and "aww" moments :D

So something pretty awkward just happened! LOL. Very awkward... And I think I dealt with it in a pretty adult way, but still, I did feel upset. Why wouldn't I right? Anyone would, but I handled it cooly and calmly. Pat on my back for that :)

I'm going to end here now... Maybe get a brush again :) Nights!