I'm not feeling myself lately. I can't really choose not to be like this... Me and G2 always had stuff like these going on, and after every sort of argument we have, I always learn something. And I learned that I should never raise my voice at G2. G2 gets upset at the smallest things and when she does, she starts talking to herself which annoys me much! And I get warmed up.
Just like any other day, I told G2 that I was hungry, and I thought I heard her say that rice is ready, but when I got there, I saw thosai, already had that 3 days in a row. And I didn't feel like having it because there was no coconut chutney - I finished it last night. So I asked her where is the rice and she was like when did I make rice? And I said, I thought you said rice, I must have heard wrongly, and I went on to make noodles for myself instead.
G2 went to the room and started talking to herself. I ignored it to the best of my ability, and then I couldn't take it anymore. Everyone has a point when they can't take it anymore and this one was way over it. So I went over and asked her nicely. Note : I asked her nicely, what is wrong and why she was talking to herself. And there is started. She started blaring and wailing and I was so shocked, it was such a small issue, and I apologised so hard and then I got damn pissed. I walked out, screamed 'I AM SORRY', went to my room and slammed the door shut.
G2 was still lamenting and stuff, and I think I heard her cry. I remember Pastor saying that some people can just immediately start crying, don't know where they keep stock of such all that. And when M called, I had to tell her obviously. Sometimes I feel like I'm going through some sort of mental torture and I could just go crazy. Just imagine...
Well as soon as I could get out of that place, I did. And I went to visit G1 today. I saw them selling durians near the MRT station and I remembered that she loves them. I never got her durians before, and I didn't know when I could actually get them for her. So after a good bargain, I got 2 of them. And apparently in the train, I got weird looks... Gosh! Why do people hate durians?! Well obviously, there were some souls who couldn't take the smell la.
And then later on a lady who was sitting beside me couldn't take the smell and sat somewhere else. Well... I dont know if its because of the durians or the old lady beside her who was making weird noises :P I can choose to take it as the latter. HAHA!
G1 smelled the durians as soon as I got to her door step :P Man she was a fanatic. Well she served me tomato rice with her special sardine curry. YUM! And then we shared one box of durians, and she seemed to be enjoying so much of it. I've never see her eat something this fast you know... She usually gives excuses that she'll eat later and stuff like that :P
Seeing G1 made me feel happy. Got my mind off things. I was dying to tell her about G2, but I guess I just couldn't because G1 and G2 didn't get along in the first place...
I took the bus home from G1's place instead of the train. On my way I was thinking alot. And I mean I was really thinking alot. I felt like home was hell because of G2. I couldn't possible have even a little bit of love for her anymore. After all she has done! Not anymore. And further discussion with M, we couldn't do anything else either... GAH!
Apparently I've decided to stay out of the house as much as possible. No matter what it takes, I can't risk it being mentally tortured. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating. Still, talking to no one helps because G2 gets sympathy points! Obviously she gets sympathy points because everyone thinks she is nice! She isn't. She needs an oscar award for being able to trick people into beliving her. And her immediate flow of crocodile tears should get the best talent ever award. Gosh! I've never hated G2 so much. Always been nice to her to the best of my ability and she takes advantage and blames me for everything.
M keeps telling me to do something. Yeah that may be the solution, but I've sort of lost all hope in something that can't be seen, heard or felt. I don't even know if I've ever felt it when I thought I have. I'm loosing my mind so much in the things I used to strongly believe. I feel like I'm backsliding already. Now that's a bad sign.
One thing I never usually believed in completely was that "God wants you to know" application on facebook. Just something I try everyday for fun. And you'd never guess what I saw today...
On this day of your life, Krishna, we believe God wants you to know ... that there will be times when you feel tossed around by the tempests of your emotions. When this happens, look for that still sacred space within you. Take some time to rest in that space. After a time, when you are ready, come out to face the world again."
Would it have made a difference if I had seen this earlier today? I don't know."
Just like any other day, I told G2 that I was hungry, and I thought I heard her say that rice is ready, but when I got there, I saw thosai, already had that 3 days in a row. And I didn't feel like having it because there was no coconut chutney - I finished it last night. So I asked her where is the rice and she was like when did I make rice? And I said, I thought you said rice, I must have heard wrongly, and I went on to make noodles for myself instead.
G2 went to the room and started talking to herself. I ignored it to the best of my ability, and then I couldn't take it anymore. Everyone has a point when they can't take it anymore and this one was way over it. So I went over and asked her nicely. Note : I asked her nicely, what is wrong and why she was talking to herself. And there is started. She started blaring and wailing and I was so shocked, it was such a small issue, and I apologised so hard and then I got damn pissed. I walked out, screamed 'I AM SORRY', went to my room and slammed the door shut.
G2 was still lamenting and stuff, and I think I heard her cry. I remember Pastor saying that some people can just immediately start crying, don't know where they keep stock of such all that. And when M called, I had to tell her obviously. Sometimes I feel like I'm going through some sort of mental torture and I could just go crazy. Just imagine...
Well as soon as I could get out of that place, I did. And I went to visit G1 today. I saw them selling durians near the MRT station and I remembered that she loves them. I never got her durians before, and I didn't know when I could actually get them for her. So after a good bargain, I got 2 of them. And apparently in the train, I got weird looks... Gosh! Why do people hate durians?! Well obviously, there were some souls who couldn't take the smell la.
And then later on a lady who was sitting beside me couldn't take the smell and sat somewhere else. Well... I dont know if its because of the durians or the old lady beside her who was making weird noises :P I can choose to take it as the latter. HAHA!
G1 smelled the durians as soon as I got to her door step :P Man she was a fanatic. Well she served me tomato rice with her special sardine curry. YUM! And then we shared one box of durians, and she seemed to be enjoying so much of it. I've never see her eat something this fast you know... She usually gives excuses that she'll eat later and stuff like that :P
Seeing G1 made me feel happy. Got my mind off things. I was dying to tell her about G2, but I guess I just couldn't because G1 and G2 didn't get along in the first place...
I took the bus home from G1's place instead of the train. On my way I was thinking alot. And I mean I was really thinking alot. I felt like home was hell because of G2. I couldn't possible have even a little bit of love for her anymore. After all she has done! Not anymore. And further discussion with M, we couldn't do anything else either... GAH!
Apparently I've decided to stay out of the house as much as possible. No matter what it takes, I can't risk it being mentally tortured. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating. Still, talking to no one helps because G2 gets sympathy points! Obviously she gets sympathy points because everyone thinks she is nice! She isn't. She needs an oscar award for being able to trick people into beliving her. And her immediate flow of crocodile tears should get the best talent ever award. Gosh! I've never hated G2 so much. Always been nice to her to the best of my ability and she takes advantage and blames me for everything.
M keeps telling me to do something. Yeah that may be the solution, but I've sort of lost all hope in something that can't be seen, heard or felt. I don't even know if I've ever felt it when I thought I have. I'm loosing my mind so much in the things I used to strongly believe. I feel like I'm backsliding already. Now that's a bad sign.
One thing I never usually believed in completely was that "God wants you to know" application on facebook. Just something I try everyday for fun. And you'd never guess what I saw today...
On this day of your life, Krishna, we believe God wants you to know ... that there will be times when you feel tossed around by the tempests of your emotions. When this happens, look for that still sacred space within you. Take some time to rest in that space. After a time, when you are ready, come out to face the world again."
Would it have made a difference if I had seen this earlier today? I don't know."
No comments:
Post a Comment