There is just so many uncertainty in my future. I know I'm done with school and all, and I'm sort of stuck with a job I don't really like so much... Not my job, but maybe the line of work I'm in. F&B industry is not at all easy, it was my first actual job once I finished my O levels, and back then, it was kinda fun, but now it isn't... There's just so much expectations to meet at my current job, but I do love the fact that its super flexible. And then there are stuff I hate. Like my pay doesn't come properly, and my outlet is super far away and then the people sometimes treat us like SHIT! We're humans too, and you could atleast be nice to people who serve you right?! Argh, I'm a customer myself and I guess I'm learning how to treat people who serve me the right way. Mum tells me she doesn't want me to continue working here and told me to secure another job, then quit this. I just don't understand her sometimes. She wanted me to get this job, and then she forced it down my throat to work hard and stuff, and now she wants me to get another job. She's just confused...

I'm confused too. Like really confused. I've applied to NIE - National Institute of Education. I've applied to both diploma and degree courses. And I'm completely clueless as how things would end up. I don't have a backup plan. I only applied to the 2 courses at NIE. And if I don't get in, then I'll probably just have to find some other proper job and then wait for the next university application to apply for other stuff.

I frankly don't know what is God's plan for me and I'm terribly unsure of my future. I know how important it is for me and the people around me to see me get a degree, but when you just don't know what God wants you to do, and when you don't seem to be hearing from him, then there is just so much panic surrounding. Yes, I'm still keeping faith and looking up to God for better or for worse, but I just don't know how things would probably end up.

This weekend was great! Met up my clique, or atleast some of them and hung out, recalling all those times we had in school, and then yesterday met up with some ex-colleagues from CPF. Its all just too good to be able to think about those times. And I also realize that I have to look forward to the future and I really hope I'm able to see God's hands on the things ahead just as how his hands were in the past.